One of my best friends (let’s call her Samantha) is dating a long-time friend of my husband (let’s call him Dave). Dave is currently going through a nasty divorce, mostly made nasty by his psychotic soon-to-be-ex-wife. His ex is the type of person who doesn’t seem to make sense all the time, repeatedly no-call-no-shows on their teenage daughter when she’s supposed to pick her up, that kind of thing. She cheated on Dave, got pregnant, left him for the other guy and is still going to ruin him financially despite the fact that she moved in with her new boyfriend and had his kid.

Samantha has done a fairly good job of staying out of the situation but because she and Dave are dating, and she and her kids are living in his house, she gets pulled into it every now and then.

Recently, Dave asked her to mail copies of some paperwork to his ex. Sam wrote a quick, very vanilla note explaining what needed to be done with the paperwork. She has the handwriting of a first-grader, so she asked me to re-write the note, which I did. I can attest that an attorney could have written it, there was so little personal touch to it. Papers were sent, end of story.

Two days ago, Sam emailed me and said “OMG, chick asked Dave for my phone number and she just left me a voicemail. I have no idea what this is about.” Naturally, I was INTENSELY curious and responded with “ZOMG! Well, maybe she has a question about the paperwork? Hopefully??”

Thirty minutes later, Sam called me and recounted the conversation she had with this chick. She had basically laid into Sam and said that she had better NEVER EVER see ANYTHING come from THAT HOUSE with Sam’s name on it. Apparently EVERYONE she had spoken to said it was a completely bitchy thing for Sam to have done, to send copies of this paperwork to her for Dave so she wouldn’t have to pay for them. (Keep in mind, this chick left Dave for another guy.)

Sam let her continue, only occasionally throwing in the random “I don’t know what you’re so mad about! Dave asked me to send it!” when chick stopped in the middle of a sentence and said “Well, why don’t you just call your friend ?!!”

Sam said “…what??”
Chick said “Yeah! Aren’t you two totally BFFs?? I know she was at the house the other night.”

(For reference, my husband, son and I hung out with Sam, Dave and their kids at the house the previous weekend.)

Sam said “Well, yeah but what does that have to do with ANYTHING??
Chick said “Well, she never liked me.”

(For reference, I’ve met this chick ONCE in ten years and we actually had a great time.)

Sam finally had had enough and said “You are completely insane.” and the chick hung up on her. She then proceeded to text Sam, repeatedly telling her to “lose my number”.


The ex chick was supposed to pick up her daughter that evening for the weekend, and ended up no-show’ing and never answered her daughters calls. Nice.

The best part of the story for me (despite the fact that my name was mentioned for no reason at all) is that I somehow worked it out so that I was at their house hanging out yesterday afternoon when the chick finally showed up to pick up her daughter. Because you know, Sam and I are totally BFFs and stuff. Which is…somehow threatening and wrong. In some way.


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