That Monday morning started like any other morning. I came in to work, sat down, logged into my computer, etc. I quickly checked my email and then picked up my oversized coffee mug to go get some coffee. (We have a Keurig machine in the upstairs kitchen at work because we are FANCY!)
As I approached my office door, I happened to look down at my coffee mug, which I was holding by the handle. It was a large, green ceramic mug. There was a little dried coffee residue on the bottom (apparently I’d forgotten to rinse it on Friday afternoon) and sitting right on the bottom was a HUGE Frost-ing COCKROACH!
I screamed and instinctively flung my mug out into the aisle, directly toward the nearest cubicle. In fact, I didn’t even aim. I just wanted to get it ANYWHERE ELSE as quickly as possible. It hit the carpet and shattered into approximately 40 pieces. EVERYONE stopped whatever they were doing and turned to look at me as I convulsed, one leg drawn up toward my belly, outside my office door.
“THERE WAS A BUG IN MY COFFEE CUP, OHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!” Of course, this elicited great concern from the girls working in the cubicles outside my office. One mildly helpful lady (who was not in the path of the projectile) asked if the bug was still there. I looked at the broken pieces of my mug. The majority of the bottom was still intact and upside down. I kicked it right-side up and NO ROACH. I don’t know where it went, but wherever it was, it was roaming free and laughing maniacally, immensely pleased with itself, radioing back to base.
“Mission accomplished. Target has been effectively terrorized. This is Rogue One, returning to base.”