Consider the following:
Daniel: Anyone want some pecans? I’m not even sure when you are supported to pick them!? Anyone know how to/want to collect pecans from my tree?
Clinton: They fall to the ground when they’re ready.
Christy: After they fall, stepping on them barefoot and cursing completes the ripening process.
Daniel: You two are sooooo helpful, it hurts.
Clinton: Though both of us were being sincere, one of us actually gave you good info.
Daniel: Clinton, I hardly think I have to step on them barefoot to complete the ripening process!
Clinton: You have to curse at them too, sir.
Andrew: That tree is quite nuciferous. That was a “word of the day” I came across about 6 years ago, and this is the first time I’ve been able to use it for its intended meaning.
Clinton: That’s what SHE said!
Daniel: YOU’RE nuciferous!
Christy: SO’S YOUR FACE!
Daniel: Christy, did you just tell me my face is bearing nuts?? I’m not sure where the lines in our friendship are, but I’m thinking that might be crossing one or two of them!
In other news, I recently bought this t-shirt and proudly showed it to my husband who was APALLED.
Reaction: “Are you actually going to WEAR that??”
Me: “Hell yes, I’m going to wear it!!”
I can’t wait for this week’s Shirt of the Now.