Don’t…move…a muscle…

Random fact: I have a herniated disc and osteo-arthritis in my lower back, and I’m only 30.

I AM A GREAT CATCH, Y’ALL!

Once a year or so, I will throw my back out performing strenuous tasks like “getting out of the car” or “bending over”. This leaves me walking like a little old lady for a solid week or so. I assume the posture of a banana but instead of bending forward, my back arches backwards and I walk around like I just pooped my pants.

It’s totally HOTT, I swear!

Earlier this year I went through physical therapy for the first time, so I know what I should be doing to avoid throwing it out yet again. I just…haven’t…been doing it?

All this back story is necessary in order to say I’m fairly certain I’m about to throw it out again SITTING IN MY CHAIR AT WORK. I can feel parts of my lower back tightening up and getting that tingly, slightly hurty, slightly tickly sensation as if my body is saying “SHE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING YET. WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…” So I’m sitting extremely still this morning. But I don’t think I’m going to be able to avoid it.

I want a cane with a sparkly skull grip. Also, I would like to be carried everywhere for the next few days, cuddled, snuggled, fed fresh fruit and allowed to watch back episodes of Dr. Who in bed.

*Owie*

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7 Responses to Don’t…move…a muscle…

  1. Bobby Knauber says:

    Should make it a pink skull with Diamond eyes and glitter on the shaft.

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  2. Jeremy Nauck says:

    So sorry to hear :( Back problems are the worst! Like getting a beat down on a regular basis.. hope it settles down and doesn’t take you out :(

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  3. Sean says:

    I recommend slaves and a litter. Just have them carry you everywhere in it.

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  4. Acadia says:

    I lol’d when you said the back story was necessary since this is a story about your back.

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    • tgnp says:

      I’m lying in bed and started laughing at your comment, but ended up going “Oh ho ho ho it huuuuurts to laugh but it’s funneeeeeeh oh ho ho ho ho owwwww!”

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  5. loudlyshy says:

    I imagine a hot glue casting could give you the skull, then you could just superglue it to the cane. TOTALLY doable.

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