Best of Spam – Volume 1

I get a lot of spam posts but I try to wade through them because my OCD makes me worry that an actual person will get caught in the spam filter and then be pissed at me because I never approved their comment.

If this has happened to you, I’m so sorry!

However, some of the spam comments are GEMS! So because of that, I give you the very first

Best of Spam!

::APPLAUSE::

Today we’ll do the top three.

Number 3:

The final episode of Season Two included a particularly touching scene where Bill and Jessica are each dressed to the nines for impending dates.

I have no idea what sitcom/drama/tv series this person is referring to, but it sounds like hilarity and tender moments will ensue. Are Bill and Jessica together or are they just friends? Are they secretly in love with each other but afraid to admit it? Is Jessica pregnant and, if so, why is she drinking?! We may never know.

Number 2:

I would push the pillow off the bed, go to the bathroom, and pick the pillow off the floor when I got back into bed.

Perhaps this commenter was spending a quiet evening at home in bed with the laptop, and just wanted to let us know their methodology for answering nature’s call? Wouldn’t the pillow get dirty on the floor? And is it carpet or hardwood flooring?

And Number 1:

There have been times when I am just about to hit send or finish a project, and the

Someone call the cops! This commenter didn’t even finish their thought! There’s no telling what happened here, but I suspect we’ll find them at the scene of a homicide. Rest in peace, mysterious spammer. We hardly knew ye.

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4 Responses to Best of Spam – Volume 1

  1. First comment is about True Blood. And that’s weird because you must not have been writing about True Blood in your post. So someone spammed you and the comment wasn’t about what you wrote? That’s never happened!

    I like it when I write things about things like poop and then am thanked for the helpful information.

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  2. Acadia says:

    It was a carpet

    fyi

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  3. I laughed sooo hard at your #1 comment. Good thing your OCD prompted you to check the spam comments. Very funny stuff!

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  4. Pingback: Best of Spam – Volume 2Techno-Geek Nerd Princess

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