New Year’s Resolutions

Everyone seems to make New Year’s resolutions and then faithfully NOT follow through with them. Dieting, exercising, drinking less, eating healthier, etc.

However useful those promises to yourself may be, they’re rather boring. So I’ve compiled a list of New Year’s Resolutions that I’d like to achieve in 2012.

1. Wrestle a live Panda
2. Beat Tommy at Pinball
3. NOT base jump from a tall building
4. Tour the U.S. as a Skeeball Shark, collecting kids’ allowance money
5. Become hooked on and bravely recover from an addiction to FunDip
6. Learn to negotiate like a Ferengi
7. Make someone proud of me
8. Smash a guitar on-stage in front of thousands of people
9. Teach my kid to ride a unicycle
10. Construct a functioning life raft from wine corks (in case of emergency)
11. Successfully change a flat tire using only a nail file
12. Sail off in a wooden shoe, on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew
13. Have coffee with Dave Grohl
14. Help The Last Unicorn push the Red Bull into the sea
15. Have Shirt of the Now be sponsored by … well, anyone really

::makes “Call Me” motion::

Want to share?