However useful those promises to yourself may be, they’re rather boring. So I’ve compiled a list of New Year’s Resolutions that I’d like to achieve in 2012.
- Wrestle a live Panda
- Beat Tommy at Pinball
- NOT base jump from a tall building
- Tour the U.S. as a Skeeball Shark, collecting kids’ allowance money
- Become hooked on and bravely recover from an addiction to FunDip
- Learn to negotiate like a Ferengi
- Make someone proud of me
- Smash a guitar on-stage in front of thousands of people
- Teach my kid to ride a unicycle
- Construct a functioning life raft from wine corks (in case of emergency)
- Successfully change a flat tire using only a nail file
- Sail off in a wooden shoe, on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew
- Have coffee with Dave Grohl
- Help The Last Unicorn push the Red Bull into the sea
- Have Shirt of the Now be sponsored by … well, anyone really
::makes “Call Me” motion::
Regarding Number 7.
Ehhhhhhhhh not yet….
You mean to tell me that you haven’t wrestled a panda yet?
N00b.
Can I borrow that unicycle when you’re done with it?
I’m totally proud of you, Christy. Number seven . . . check!
YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!
#3 and #4 are easily obtainable. Especially 4, I’m sure all of us tried this when we were 5.